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Det skal ikke være så alvorligt altsammen.

Reklamer

"Smykker. Fordi god sex ikke vare evigt."

"Tequila. Har hjulpet kvinder til at sænke standarden i årevis."

"Øl. Har hjulpet grimme mennnesker med at få sex siden 1862."

Religions of Whistler

Mænd er fra Mars, kvinder er fra Venus og der er langt imellem

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either.

Hvordan du IKKE skal køre

Og hvorfor ovenstående sker ...

Flere reklamer

Oh shit

Surprise!!!

Den gode druksang

Da hønsehuset brændte ville hanen ikke ud
Den baskede med vingerne - for den var skide fuld
Det er vi ik' endnu - det er vi ik' endnu
Så tag dit glas og drik det ud
Vi kommer alle mand - fra både by og land
Og vi vil ikke nøjs' med vand

Da hønemor så hanefar så faldt hun helt omkuld
Hun baskede med vingerne og råbte: du' jo fuld
Det er vi ik' endnu - det er vi ik' endnu
Så tag dit glas og drik det ud.
For hvis vi ik' sku' ku' - hvem sku' så ku' ku'
Vi har da kunnet ind til nu.

Da hanefar så hønemor da gjorde han hende kur
Men ak for ham den store "star" - for han var jo for fuld
Det er vi osse snart - det er vi osse snart
Så tag dit glas og tøm det i en fart
Det er vi osse nu - det er vi osse nu
Så tag dit glas og hæld det ud.

At hønsene de osse drak - de sikkert ikke ved
De drak imedens hanen stod og brækked' sig og sked
Det gør vi ik' endnu - det gør vi ik' endnu
Så tag dit glas og drik det ud.
Det gør vi ik' endnu - det gør vi ik' endnu
Så tag dit glas og drik det ud.

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